And so She must die in order to be reborn, She continues in this cycle. Each time, coming back stronger and more herself. Shedding that which does not belong to Her. Rise and rise again Queen.
As I go along my path, each failure, each hard lesson brings me closer to me. I have been reminded by my yoga teacher and some popular quotes, and the great India Arie, that I am whole, I am not trying to get anywhere, I am already here. I am shedding and allowing to die, the walls, the ideas, the thoughts that I have built up around myself for protection. These things are not me. Through my mistakes, which I will continue to make, but hopefully less painfully each time, I am reminded of these truths. I also know that if I want to live fully as my best self, I must let these protections go, I must feel it all, I must face it all. Phew, it can be so heavy. The muck, the sticky dark stuff, that is how I grow. I see this mirrored in what is going on around the globe as well. All the dark that has been underground is coming to light, so it can be shed to rebirth something different, hopefully something more healed. None of this is straight forward, nor is it easy to remember when I am faced with the hard truths or in a moment of vast emotion. I just hope that each time, it is a bit easier to come back to me, and so far it has been. Similar to meditation, I cannot expect to turn my thoughts off, but each time I notice I have gone off on a tangent, I come back to my breath, and this does get a little bit easier to notice with practice. Of course there are the really hard days when it seems impossible, and that is where unconditional self-love and compassion come into play. Although I aspire to live that way always, again this is not simple, this is a practice. I have success, I fall, I slip up, I get back up. Compassion. I am not my mistakes, nor my pain, nor my skin (Listen to "I am Light" by India Arie for this inspiration)I truly feel that these dark challenges are bringing me closer to me, and I notice it more every day, even on the bad days. This is because I also notice, that when I am not doing the work, just getting by or distracting myself with things so I don't have to face the pain, that I feel more disconnected and farther away from me. It's funny, all these distractions are there to fill that hole of disconnection but it causes me to be even more disconnected. I am learning to be with me, quiet, breathing, creating, listening. I am beautiful, I am deep, and I am worthy. I am you and you are me.
Love and Blessings to All Beings on this journey, for we are all here together to heal each other and Mama Earth.
Winter Solstice Blessings, may your light shine bright!
If you would like to join me for some deep healing restorative yoga, I offer a class at Just Yoga every other Friday at 7:30 pm. Next class is Friday, December 22, 2017.